Flame Sword

Poker, but with a deck of 12,000 cards

So, one day I was fucking around on Tabletop Simulator and someone sent me a mod for a new kind of deck of cards. It was called the Infinite Deck, and it contains 12,000 cards. Specifically, there are...

The mod description says that you're not really supposed to use all 12,000 cards at once, because it would be too resource intensive. So naturally, the first thing I did was try to unpack all 12,000 cards, out of a severe and callous disregard for the laws of creation. After a few game crashes, I eventually got all 12,000 cards into a single deck, although pretty much the only thing keeping this thing from making my computer explode is the fact that it only has to render one card in the deck at a time: the card on the very end of the stack, which is face-up. If you try to spread the deck out, or search through it, the game instantly crashes from the strain of having to render all 12,000 cards. I'm pretty sure this thing counts as a zipbomb.

So then, after I got all 12,000 cards into a deck, I asked myself, "Now, this is all well and good, but how am I going to actually USE this?" A valid question indeed, Past Me. Most card games are designed with a 52-card deck in mind. It's the most common deck size, and it's a reasonable amount of cards for a dealer to carry around and shuffle by hand. Most playing cards are about 0.17mm to 0.24mm thick, so a deck of 52 cards would be somewhere from 8.84mm to 12.48mm thick. The Infinite Deck, on the other hand, is neither of those things. At the given card thickness, this would be a stack of playing cards that ends up being 2,040mm (6 ft 8 in) to 2,880mm (9 ft 5 in) thick. That's right, this deck is thicker than you are tall, unless you happen to be a champion basketball player. For further comparison, the Yu-Gi-Oh! deck that caused Konami to put an upper limit on deck sizes was 2,222 cards, and that deck was housed in a box so long it required two people to carry it. This is almost six times as many cards.

But given that this is a digital deck only, we are not constrained by the limits of the flesh, only those of the CPU. With the bare minimum constraint on my creative potential lifted, I could get down to business on making either my magnum opus, the deed that would put my name in the annals of history in golden ink... or the biggest mistake of my life, a testament to man's hubris and the inevitable downfall that it causes. I haven't decided which it is. Nonetheless, this game is pretty much impossible to play in real life and only really works digitally.

Introducing...

Poker with 12,000 Cards. (working title)

I'm not quite sure why I chose poker as the starting point for my newest abomination of game design. Blackjack would have been much more scalable since its rules don't care about the suits of the cards, only the number, but that's boring. Crazy Eights would have been pretty neat, but the increased number of suits makes it pretty much impossible to match the suit. I don't know how to play bridge, euchre, cribbage or whist, nor do I think trick-taking games would work very well with such a deck. (They'd go on forever!) Rummy could work, perhaps, but that's besides the point. You've come here expecting a poker variant, and god dammit I'm going to give you one. These rules are based on Texas Hold'em, but they do not assume that you already know how to play regular poker, nor should they, because let's face it, any knowledge you might have had about regular poker went out the window the moment you clicked on this page.

Objective

To construct the best possible hand of 10 cards, using your own four "hole cards" and the 100 "community cards."

Setup

If you're playing for money, each player buys in as in regular poker. Otherwise, just divide the chips evenly. Then, choose one player to be the first Dealer. The player one seat to their left is the Small Blind, and the player two seats to their left (one seat to the Small Blind's left) is the Big Blind. There is one more role that only appears in the second hand and beyond: the Underdog. Whoever's hand was in last place in the previous hand is the Underdog, and they get a special boost to improve their odds of a comeback. Next, all players should negotiate a "blind bet" amount.

Playing a Hand

Before each hand begins, three "blind bets" are made. Whoever is the Small Blind of the hand makes a blind bet of half the blind bet amount, then whoever is the Big Blind makes a blind bet of the full blind bet amount. For every hand after the first one, the player who won the previous hand makes an additional bet of the full blind bet amount. For the first hand, the Dealer makes this bet instead.

After all blind bets are made, each player has the option to declare a "Called Shot", naming ten cards. If that player can make a hand with all ten of those cards, the odds of that hand will be 16.999 decillion to 1. Once every player has declared their intentions for a Called Shot, the Dealer deals four cards to each player. These are called "hole cards" and are the exclusive knowledge of the person holding them. (In regular Texas Hold'em, each player only gets two hole cards, but I doubled this to better facilitate the increased deck and hand sizes.) Whoever was declared the Underdog in the previous round then gets an additional four cards. Once every player has their cards, the Dealer then deals out 100 more cards, facedown, in a 10 x 10 grid. These are the community cards, and they can be used by anyone at the table, though each player may only use cards from a single row or column.

With all cards dealt to their respective players, the first round of betting begins. During each round of betting, a player has three options:

  1. The player can fold, forfeiting the current hand.
  2. If no one has placed any bets, the player can check, declaring no intention of placing a bet.
  3. The player can place a bet based on how confident they are in the value of their hand.

If any player has placed a bet during this hand, then the option to check is no longer available. Instead, each player has to either call the bet by betting the same amount, or raise the bet to a higher amount. (You have to be able to actually pay the bets you're making, obviously. You can't just bet a million dollars if there aren't a million dollars in chips in front of you.) When a bet is placed, it is collected into the Pot, which stands in the center of the table until a winner is declared during the Showdown (see below.)

Once every player has either folded, checked, or placed a bet, the next step is the Flop. During the Flop, each player turns one of the community cards face-up, going counterclockwise around the table, until 60 of the 100 community cards have been turned face-up. (They don't have to be adjacent, you can flip any card you wish face-up at any time.) After the Flop, there is a second betting round exactly the same as the first one.

After the second round of betting, the Turn occurs. It's just like the Flop, except only 20 cards are revealed instead of 60. Then a there's third round of betting, followed by the River. During the River, the 20 cards that remain face-down are turned face-up.

After the River comes one last chance to place a bet, with all 100 community cards revealed. Once all final bets have been placed, each player reveals their cards, in an event known as the Showdown.

Hand Judging

Each player constructs the best possible hand of 10 cards, using their four (eight for the Underdog) hole cards, and any one row or column of 10 community cards in the 10x10 grid. Each hand shown below has an absolute frequency (the number of possible hands that would be classified as that type) and an odds against (the ratio of possible hands that are not that type to the ones that are). Hands are scored by the odds against drawing that hand. Whoever's hand had the highest odds against it wins, and claims all the money in the Pot. The player who had the weakest hand is then declared the Underdog, and the next hand begins.

The card rankings are as follows: Infinity is high, Ace, King, Queen, Jack, Princess, Cavalier, Lady, Wizard, Sorceress, Yeoman, Huntress, Fool, Oracle, Dragon, Tower, Monster, Banner, and then the number cards in numerical order (21 as the highest number card, 0 as the lowest number card).

The hand rankings are as follows. (Side note: While I'd like to think I'm decent at math, these are some pretty big numbers we're dealing with, so I may have made some errors in calculating the odds. If you're calculating them yourself and you notice a discrepancy, PLEASE inform me.)

  1. Called Shot - Ten specific cards which are declared before hole cards are dealt. Odds against: 16.999 decillion to 1.
  2. Royal Flush x10 - The Infinity, Ace, King, Queen, Jack, Princess, Cavalier, Lady, Wizard and Sorceress, all in a single suit. Odds against: 56.663 nonillion to 1.
  3. Double Royal Flush - Two Royal Flushes x5 (see below) in two different suits. Odds against: 47.756 nonillion to 1.
  4. Straight Flush x10 - Ten cards of the same suit, all in sequence. Odds against: 1.954 nonillion to 1.
  5. Royal Flush x9 - The Infinity, Ace, King, Queen, Jack, Princess, Cavalier, Lady and Wizard, all in a single suit. Odds against: 47.255 octillion to 1.
  6. 10 of a Kind Mini-Flush - Ten cards that share both their rank and their color. Odds against: 7.076 octillion to 1.
  7. Straight Flush x9 - Nine cards of the same suit, all in sequence. Odds against: 1.575 octillion to 1.
  8. Rainbow x10 - Ten cards, none of which share a color. Odds against: 153.345 septillion to 1.
  9. Royal Flush x8 - The Infinity, Ace, King, Queen, Jack, Princess, Cavalier and Lady, all in a single suit. Odds against: 35.465 septillion to 1.
  10. 9 of a Kind Mini-Flush - Nine cards that share both their rank and their color. Odds against: 3.541 septillion to 1.
  11. Straight Flush x8 - Eight cards of the same suit, all in sequence. Odds against: 1.144 septillion to 1.
  12. Double 5 of a Kind Mini-Flush - Two 5 of a Kind Mini-Flushes (see below) of different ranks and different colors. Odds against: 801.313 sextillion to 1.
  13. Rainbow x9 - Nine cards, none of which share a color. Odds against: 140.672 sextillion to 1.
  14. Flush x10 - Ten cards of the same suit. Odds against: 66.846 sextillion to 1.
  15. Royal Flush x7 - The Infinity, Ace, King, Queen, Jack, Princess and Cavalier, all in a single suit. Odds against: 23.657 sextillion to 1.
  16. Double Royal Mini-Flush - Two Royal Mini-Flushes x5 (see below) in two different colors. Odds against: 19.549 sextillion to 1.
  17. 8 of a Kind Mini-Flush - Eight cards that share both their rank and their color. Odds against: 2.067 sextillion to 1.
  18. Royal Mini-Flush x10 - The Infinity, Ace, King, Queen, Jack, Princess, Cavalier, Lady, Wizard and Sorceress, all in a single color. Odds against: 1.474 sextillion to 1.
  19. Straight Flush x7 - Seven cards of the same suit, all in sequence. Odds against: 739.276 quintillion to 1.
  20. Flush x9 - Nine cards of the same suit. Odds against: 172.816 quintillion to 1.
  21. Rainbow x8 - Eight cards, none of which share a color. Odds against: 140.766 quintillion to 1.
  22. Double Flush - Two flushes x5, in two different suits. Odds against: 110.298 quintillion to 1.
  23. Straight Mini-Flush x10 - Ten cards of the same color, all in sequence. Odds against: 50.825 quintillion to 1.
  24. Royal Mini-Flush x9 - The Infinity, Ace, King, Queen, Jack, Princess, Cavalier, Lady and Wizard, all in a single color. Odds against: 18.438 quintillion to 1.
  25. Royal Flush x6 - The Infinity, Ace, King, Queen, Jack and Princess, all in a single suit. Odds against: 13.807 quintillion to 1.
  26. 7 of a Kind Mini-Flush - Seven cards that share both their rank and their color. Odds against: 1.379 quintillion to 1.
  27. Double 4 of a Kind Mini-Flush - Two 4 of a Kind Mini-Flushes (see below) of two different ranks and colors. Odds against: 674.280 quadrillion to 1.
  28. Triple 3 of a Kind Mini-Flush - Three 3 of a Kind Mini-Flushes of three different ranks and colors. Odds against: 623.556 quadrillion to 1.
  29. Straight Mini-Flush x9 - Nine cards of the same color, all in sequence. Odds against: 614.600 quadrillion to 1.
  30. Flush x8 - Eight cards of the same suit. Odds against: 461.150 quadrillion to 1.
  31. Straight Flush x6 - Six cards of the same suit, all in sequence. Odds against: 418.386 quadrillion to 1.
  32. Royal Mini-Flush x8 - The Infinity, Ace, King, Queen, Jack, Princess, Cavalier and Lady, all in a single color. Odds against: 207.566 quadrillion to 1.
  33. Rainbow x7 - Seven cards, none of which share a color. Odds against: 152.585 quadrillion to 1.
  34. Royal Flush x5 - The Infinity, Ace, King, Queen and Jack, all in a single suit. Odds against: 6.906 quadrillion to 1.
  35. Straight Mini-Flush x8 - Eight cards of the same color, all in sequence. Odds against: 6.696 quadrillion to 1.
  36. Royal Mini-Flush x7 - The Infinity, Ace, King, Queen, Jack, Princess and Cavalier, all in a single color. Odds against: 2.077 quadrillion to 1.
  37. Flush x7 - Seven cards of the same suit. Odds against: 1.269 quadrillion to 1.
  38. 6 of a Kind Mini-Flush - Six cards that share both their rank and their color. Odds against: 1.034 quadrillion to 1.
  39. Five Pair Mini-Flush - Five Pair Mini-Flushes of five different ranks and colors. Odds against: 1.028 quadrillion to 1.
  40. 10 of a Kind - Ten cards that share the same rank. Odds against: 303.916 trillion to 1.
  41. Straight Flush x5 - Five cards of the same suit, all in sequence. Odds against: 203.125 trillion to 1.
  42. Rainbow x6 - Six cards, none of which share a color. Odds against: 178.105 trillion to 1.
  43. Straight Mini-Flush x7 - Seven cards of the same color, all in sequence. Odds against: 64.902 trillion to 1.
  44. Royal Mini-Flush x6 - The Infinity, Ace, King, Queen, Jack and Princess, all in a single color. Odds against: 18.182 trillion to 1.
  45. 9 of a Kind - Nine cards that share the same rank. Odds against: 7.375 trillion to 1.
  46. 7-3 of a Kind - A 7 of a Kind and a 3 of a Kind, in different ranks. Odds against: 7.258 trillion to 1.
  47. 6-4 of a Kind - A 6 of a Kind and a 4 of a Kind, in different ranks. Odds against: 7.185 trillion to 1.
  48. Double 5 of a Kind - Two 5 of a Kinds of different ranks. Odds against: 7.161 trillion to 1.
  49. Flush x6 - Six cards of the same suit. Odds against: 3.597 trillion to 1.
  50. Four Pair Mini-Flush - Four Pair Mini-Flushes of four different ranks and colors. Odds against: 864.857 billion to 1.
  51. 5 of a Kind Mini-Flush - Five cards that share both their rank and their color. Odds against: 862.418 billion to 1.
  52. Double 3 of a Kind Mini-Flush - Two 3 of a Kind Mini-Flushes of two different ranks and colors. Odds against: 675.011 billion to 1.
  53. Straight Mini-Flush x6 - Six cards of the same color, all in sequence. Odds against: 550.961 billion to 1.
  54. Mini-Flush x10 - Ten cards of the same color. Odds against: 550.030 billion to 1.
  55. Rainbow x5 - Five cards, none of which share a color. Odds against: 222.725 billion to 1.
  56. 6-3-1 of a Kind - A 6 of a Kind, a 3 of a Kind and a lone card, all in different ranks. Odds against: 187.183 billion to 1.
  57. 6-2-2 of a Kind - A 6 of a Kind and two Pairs, all in different ranks. Odds against: 186.557 billion to 1.
  58. 5-4-1 of a Kind - A 5 of a Kind, a 4 of a Kind and a lone card, all in different ranks. Odds against: 185.923 billion to 1.
  59. 5-3-2 of a Kind - A 5 of a Kind and a Full House, all in different ranks. Odds against: 184.679 billion to 1.
  60. 4-4-2 of a Kind - A Double 4 of a Kind and a Pair, all in different ranks. Odds against: 184.057 billion to 1.
  61. 4-3-3 of a Kind - A 4 of a Kind and a Double 3 of a Kind, all in different ranks. Odds against: 183.439 billion to 1.
  62. 7-2-1 of a Kind - A 7 of a Kind, a Pair and a lone card, all in different ranks. Odds against: 180.378 billion to 1.
  63. 8 of a Kind - Eight cards that share the same rank. Odds against: 179.590 billion to 1.
  64. Royal Mini-Flush x5 - The Infinity, Ace, King, Queen and Jack, all in a single color. Odds against: 136.420 billion to 1.
  65. Double Mini-Flush - Two Mini-Flushes x5, in two different colors. Odds against: 27.759 billion to 1.
  66. Mini-Flush x9 - Nine cards of the same color. Odds against: 27.109 billion to 1.
  67. Flush x5 - Five cards of the same suit. Odds against: 10.496 billion to 1.
  68. 5-2-2-1 of a Kind - A 5 of a Kind, two Pairs and a lone card, all in different ranks. Odds against: 4.958 billion to 1.
  69. Fuller House - A 4 of a Kind, a 3 of a Kind, a Pair and a lone card, all in different ranks. Odds against: 4.925 billion to 1.
  70. 4-2-2-2 of a Kind - A 4 of a Kind and three Pairs, all in different ranks. Odds against: 4.908 billion to 1.
  71. Double Full House - Two Pairs and a Double 3 of a Kind, all in different ranks. Odds against: 4.892 billion to 1.
  72. Triple 3 of a Kind - Three 3 of a Kinds, in three different ranks. Odds against: 4.544 billion to 1.
  73. 7 of a Kind - Seven cards that share the same rank. Odds against: 4.388 billion to 1.
  74. 8-2 of a Kind - An 8 of a Kind and a Pair, in different ranks. Odds against: 4.369 billion to 1.
  75. Double 4 of a Kind - Two 4 of a Kinds of different ranks. Odds against: 4.362 billion to 1.
  76. Straight Mini-Flush x5 - Five cards of the same color, all in sequence. Odds against: 4.012 billion to 1.
  77. Mini-Flush x8 - Eight cards of the same color. Odds against: 1.338 billion to 1.
  78. Three Pair Mini-Flush - Three Pair Mini-Flushes of three different ranks and colors. Odds against: 794.186 million to 1.
  79. 4 of a Kind Mini-Flush - Four cards that share both their rank and their color. Odds against: 790.813 million to 1.
  80. Five Pairs - Five Pairs of five different ranks. Odds against: 134.527 million to 1.
  81. 6 of a Kind - Six cards that share the same rank. Odds against: 107.549 million to 1.
  82. Straight x10 - Ten cards, all in sequence. Odds against: 99.268 million to 1.
  83. Mini-Flush x7 - Seven cards of the same color. Odds against: 66.172 million to 1.
  84. Straight x9 - Nine cards, all in sequence. Odds against: 24.008 million to 1.
  85. Straight x8 - Eight cards, all in sequence. Odds against: 5.231 million to 1.
  86. Mini-Flush x6 - Six cards of the same color. Odds against: 3.277 million to 1.
  87. Four Pairs - Four Pairs of four different ranks. Odds against: 3.021 million to 1.
  88. Double 3 of a Kind - Two 3 of a Kinds of different ranks. Odds against: 2.675 million to 1.
  89. 5 of a Kind - Five cards that share the same rank. Odds against: 2.645 million to 1.
  90. Straight x7 - Seven cards, all in sequence. Odds against: 1.014 million to 1.
  91. Two Pair Mini-Flush - Two Pair Mini-Flushes of two different ranks and colors. Odds against: 792,795 to 1.
  92. 3 of a Kind Mini-Flush - Three cards that share both their rank and their color. Odds against: 791,011 to 1.
  93. Straight x6 - Six cards, all in sequence. Odds against: 172,175 to 1.
  94. Mini-Flush x5 - Five cards of the same color. Odds against: 162,560 to 1.
  95. Three Pairs - Three Pairs of three different ranks. Odds against: 69,704 to 1.
  96. Full House - A 3 of a Kind and a Pair of two different ranks. Odds against: 66,468 to 1.
  97. 4 of a Kind - Four cards that share the same rank. Odds against: 65,265 to 1.
  98. Straight x5 - Five cards, all in sequence. Odds against: 25,077 to 1.
  99. Two Pairs - Two Pairs of two different ranks. Odds against: 1,651 to 1.
  100. 3 of a Kind - Three cards that share the same rank. Odds against: 1,615 to 1.
  101. Pair Mini-Flush - Two cards that share both their rank and their color. Odds against: 857.071 to 1.
  102. Pair - Two cards that share the same rank. Odds against: 40.130 to 1.

Resolving Tied Hands

While it's rare, you will occasionally encounter situations where two players have the same type of hand. Both of them have the same odds, so who wins? In these cases, there are six layers of tiebreakers.

  1. Whoever's hand has higher cards wins. (e.g. a 4-of-a-kind of 21s beats a 4-of-a-kind of 15s)
  2. Each color has one "trump" suit (see below for which suits are considered trumps). Any hand that contains a trump card automatically outranks a hand of the same type without a trump card.
  3. If more than one player has trump cards, whoever has more of them wins.
  4. If multiple players tie for the most trump cards, whichever one has a trump card of a higher value wins.
  5. If multiple players still tie for the highest valued trump card, check the second highest valued trump card, and so on.
  6. If there is still a tie, all tied players win and split the pot evenly.

All 300 Suits

This is a list of all 300 suits, sorted into colors. Trump suits are in bold.

Holy SHIT where can I play this?!

I'm working on getting it set up for play on Tabletop Simulator. You can find the mod here!

This page was finished on September 23rd, 2023, at 1:58 AM.

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